Doctor Don Corleone

I left the office eager to see the shoulder doctor. My right shoulder had been aggravating me for a while and I wanted a diagnosis and subsequent treatment schedule.

There is no doubt that New York City has the finest doctors in the world. Patients fly in from all corners of the world to be treated here.

Doctors spend years studying , working as interns and residents in hospitals, staying up for night after night to better themselves and build up a reputation and a following. They finally achieve their aims of being top Specialists in their field and open a practice affiliated with one of the major New York Hospitals.

I visited one such practice yesterday. I am fortunate enough to have medical insurance and so I will only get charged about $ 25 for the visit. My appointment was at 4.45pm towards the end of the working day. I expected to be the only patient at 4.45pm and was somewhat astonished to see three other 4.45pm patients for the same Doctor sitting in the waiting room. Now don't think for one moment that any doctor would work for $100 an hour. Heaven forbid. That is what these three patients plus me are personally liable for through the co-pay.

The Doctor charges the insurance company $500 for each patient’s visit. Therefore the Doctor is earning $2000 dollars an hour. But wait a minute. There are four appointments every quarter of an hour so the Doctor is making $8000 dollars an hour.

Actually, I waited 45 minutes in two separate waiting rooms for the Doctor to examine my shoulder. He entered the room. He grunted something like a hello in some non English language and asked me to raise my arm above my head which I couldn't do. He asked me to put my arm behind my back which I also failed to do. Finally he asked me to stretch out both arms in front of me. Bingo! This test I passed with flying colors.

He then said to me that I needed an M.R.I and walked out the room still grunting. I had spent three minutes with the Doctor. So for 3 minutes work times four patients, four times an hour he had collected $ 8000 dollars for 48 minutes of dialog and examination with 16 patients or $170 dollars a minute.

After my fly by examination, I returned to the front desk to pick up my M.R.I form and stood there applauding. The admin woman asked me why I was standing there clapping. I explained that even the Mafia didn't operate such an efficient racket as this and that it should be applauded. She then handed me an appointment card with a new date four weeks from now to see the same Doctor. I guess once you pay your dues to The Doctor Don Corleone you have to keep going back. I may have a shoulder problem now but I don't want that turning into a shattered knee cap issue.