A couple of weeks ago I was complaining vigorously about the weather here in our beloved metropolis. It seemed as if we could never get a break from the precipitation that graced us on a daily basis several times a day. Now that the weather has done a complete 180 degree turn, I propose doing a Native American Indian rain dance to facilitate some rain. The humidity has become unbearable and its not even summer yet.
The weather extremes of New York city have officially eradicated two of our favorites seasons. In a few decades time kids living here will ask " what was Spring like Daddy?" They will never experience days of 65 degrees with no humidity and a refreshing cool breeze that accompanies it. We all remember with glee the endless days of shorts, t-shirts underneath and a sweatshirt draped over the shoulders just in case the temperature falls below 50 . I remember walking in central park breathing in the aromas that permeate the air from the freshly cut grass or the sprouting of spring buds. It is my favorite time of the year. Mother nature has decided to steal these fleeting moments of contentment away from the inhabitants of New York and instead punish them with rain and now humidity.
I walk to work and back each day . In the morning I chose to walk down Park Avenue because there are no buses. I include this piece of useful information not because of the fact that I agree with the no bus policy on Park Avenue. I mention this fact because I am always tempted to abandon my walks and jump on a bus when walking down Second or Lexington Avenues. I even hang around bus stops in anticipation of a bus relieving me of my exercise. On Park I cannot do this so I chose this route to work in order to complete the two mile walk without evil bus temptations.
On the way back I have many choices. I leave work around Five. The last thing I ever want to do during the afternoon rush hour is hop on a bus or a subway unless I absolutely have to. I don't like being that intimate with strangers if you can picture how close you have to stand next to someone crammed into a sausage like structure either below or above ground. I enjoy walking home. On Fifth Avenue I encounter the tourist aimlessly patrolling the retail Mecca of the world. I am often stopped for directions on Fifth Avenue and oblige with first class orienteering recommendations. It is an arduous task weaving in and out of tourist traffic congregating at all the wrong places. If I chose Fifth it adds at least five minutes to my journey, blamed squarely on the other pedestrians unfamiliar with the walking habits of New Yorkers. The one advantage of taking Fifth is I can make a slight detour and wander into Central Park at 59 th street and then walk the next mile in the park avoiding the mass of alien invaders on Fifth.
The walk on Madison Avenue is quite different. The advertising crew are out in force and are better dressed, better looking and considerably younger. This is the Avenue of gorgeous people and I often find myself walking into lampposts or other pedestrians staring at something half my age and flimsily dressed. I tend not to chose this route home often because it hurts my neck and I try and refrain from appearing to be that creepy old guy that many cross roads to ignore.
Park Avenue is a fine choice for the commute home. I tend to be the salmon swimming against the tide as the office buildings spew out their workers like clockwork at five in the afternoon and the vast majority of them trek down a few blocks to Grand Central Station hurrying to catch their trains at times past the hour only New York State Transit Authorities could come up with. Higher up on Park Avenue I witness hoards of plastic surgery patients with bandages on faces and heads and extraordinary large breasts trying to avoid eye contact with those in the know. I have counted at least fifteen plastic surgeons in the sixties and seventies on both sides of Park. Clearly those who want to be more beautiful gravitate to one of the most stunning avenues in New York to get treatment.
Lexington is nothing short of a zoo. It is a combination of office workers, construction workers, students from Hunter college, nannies with babies in strollers and lower end retail customers all jockeying for sidewalk room heading in both directions. It is impossible to cleanly navigate ones way in a straight line without bumping into several people. I try and avoid bodily contact at all times with aggressive commuters and so by-pass Lexington regularly.
Third Avenue is quite similar to Lexington in its pedestrian make up. Its sidewalks are much wider though making the journey that much easier. You do have to contend with the Bloomingdale's crowd in the low 60's but they tend to not even be on the sidewalk as they are half in the street hailing cabs with brown bags flying around as they hoist their flapping hands high above their heads. Once you have passed the shopping brigade the coast is clear and Third Avenue is a nice alternative to Park.
Second Avenue is another hustling bustling commercial street with many restaurants , bars and delis that come to life after six when happy hour is in full force. In the seventies it becomes the largest continuous construction site seen by New Yorkers as the Second Avenue subway line engulfs every aspect of avenue life. It is horrendous and should be avoided at all costs. It is the bubonic plague of the city and i pity anyone who has to deal with the noise, sights, smells and sounds of what will be for sure a complete waste of public finances.
Choices are what makes New York so different from many other cities. When the weather holds up and its not too hot i encourage City folk and visitors to walk the city streets and take in the different vibes. Excluding downtown the City is built around a grid making it very difficult to get lost. I have touched on just a few Avenues that vary quite considerably. The only challenge to walking is that one has to deal with other walkers like me. New Yorkers are pretty set in their ways and plan out their walking routes well in advance. There is nothing more annoying than large families spread out hand in hand taking up the whole sidewalk. You will be harassed by the local population and will be told quite clearly how you should be walking. Buses and subways should only be used when the journey is too long or when the weather plays up. Otherwise walking is the preferred mode of transportation as nothing is worse than sausage stuffing!
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